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Backmask by Mindless Self Indulgence

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🂡 Latest Journal Entries:

Last updated: ������

i just dont know why im still around. i was supposed to die so many times by now, i was so close to death each time, but i keep surviving. i guess you could say god had a plan for me but hes a fucking liar. he abandoned me. but then why am i still here, theres nothing left for me, im just a vessel with no soul left in her anymore, theres nothing theres NOTHING. i cant trust anybody, every friend of mine in the past has only left me. i cant even blame them, i have always been just an unlovable freak who always destroyed everything, i ruin everything, and nobody could ever tell why. im forever an impulsive worthless piece of shit, huh? i push everyone away, i pull a gun at strangers out of reflex for fucks sake. my only two friends are just hanging on by a thread too. this place is killing me slowly and i do not even care anymore. everyone is after me. they fucking found my old home, i have nowhere to go anymore, im just leeching off the kind and stupid. god i want their ignorance. i want to be a braindead blissful whore again then kill myself. i dont know why i run even so. its not like theres any hope left for me anyways

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